Sunday, December 6, 2015

Little Girl, Nothing Wrong

Yesterday my little sister asked me why we're alive, and I had to pretend not to hear her.
I still think I handled it wrong.

But she's just a little girl with nothing wrong, and even when we hold hands, we're both still alone in a world where headlines will always take priority over life. In a place where sanctity is measured in soundbites,
at a time when I haven't existed for 2 hours because that's how long my phone has been off.

I still think I handled it wrong.

I'm sorry, I just couldn't find enlightenment on billboards
like I was supposed to.

But Brianne, the leaves are all but gone this December, and not even our undying evergreens have an answer to that question.
Brianne, my signature will mean something in 10 months, 2 days, nine hours and forty-three minutes, my leaves are all but gone too, and I still can't answer your question.

So I'll keep ignoring God because He can't keep my attention as long as the words "I don't know."
 I'll keep screaming at the sun to show itself because we deserve at least that much, then curse the blue sky when it finally comes and there's no answer hiding behind the clouds.

And on my gravestone maybe some graffiti artist will be kind enough to etch the words endlessly,
"I don't know I don't know I don't know"
because I can't ask my family to do it for me.

Brianne, I promise I heard you, and see you, and for what it's worth, love you.
But tomorrow we'll be gone as the leaves
evergreens will keep looking for their answer, more alone than ever
and I'll still think I handled it wrong.

21 comments:

  1. this is so good. like, punch me through the computer screen, knock the breath out of my lungs, good.

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  2. Makes me so curious as to whats happening in 10 months 2 days 3 hours and 26 minutes..

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    Replies
    1. Its been 3 hours and 28 minutes since you posted,
      incase my comment didn't makes sense

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    2. Ohh hmm I like the way you said it. Like with the whole signature and the leaves thing instead of flat out saying your turning 18

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  3. This is so important.

    This is soooo important.

    And the part about the sun, and the sky, and the clouds,
    And no one has the answers,

    i don't know.

    This is so important.

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  4. Dude this seriously almost made me cry when I read it out loud. Please share this on Tuesday or I will! The perspective you took on this is so amazing, talking to your sister. I love real life poems!:)

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  5. I would quote my favorite parts but then I'd just be copying and pasting the whole post. Honestly, this was too incredible

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  6. okay are we joking? this was so unreal. you are incredible.

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  7. In a place where sanctity is measured in soundbites,
    at a time when I haven't existed for 2 hours because that's how long my phone has been off.

    Sad how true this is.

    This is incredible

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  8. I wonder what came first, the newspaper blackout or the post.

    Which came first, the music or the misery.

    I do not know, I do not know.

    You're a really good writer.

    That opening line. You make it clear that this conversation matters. That question matters. Holy crap, what a question.

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  9. the part about the billboards, and just everything.

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  10. amazing at everything

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  11. You are literally way too good! I'm in love with your writing!

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  12. So I'll keep ignoring God because He can't keep my attention as long as the words "I don't know."

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  13. holy s.

    brianne just found this post and got up and read it in front of the class

    so cool

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