How to be an Air Traffic Controller

At 13 I was disappointed to learn how important responsibility is, considering I have so little.

I get it, you're not here for disappointment, I'm supposed to teach you how to be an air traffic controller. 

Trouble is, they hired the wrong trainer, because I don't have a clue what to tell anybody about consistency, reliability or the altitude of your flight.

Do I let you in on the fact that they wear those neon vests because planes are big, people are little, and if you're not running around demanding attention or humbly wearing your bright vest they just might run you over?

Should I suggest you never let it get in your head when pilots and passengers rocket past at hundreds of miles-per-hour,

leaving you to walk back to base slowly without a goodbye?

See, we're all pilots, and we're all passengers, and we're all air traffic controllers.

But the first of those is the only one that ever seems to make us proud, and the second is the only place where we can relax.

Who can blame most of the airport for heading home by the third?

But you're still here, 

so if you really want to know how to be an air traffic controller, here it is.

Something kids don't dream of having in their eulogy, but only the best are honored to be remembered for.

The boring secret that never got on prime time news.

The unglorified truth that could have saved us from every plane crash and too many tears.

Just find your job,

and do it.